Friday, February 24, 2012

A new chapter

I decided once again to change the contents of this blog that carries my name.
This is the story of a girl, a bit too chubby and lazy, starting over and beginning a  new life.

It all started on April 1st, when I stepped onto the scale and the numbers read 69.1 kilos. A girl at the mere height of 160 cm's is not supposed to be weighing that much to begin with, but I was shocked. How in the world could I have let it come to this? Let myself slip this far? I did not understand, or rather, I guess I did, it was quite simple really. I had been living in Japan for about 7 months, the food was absolutely awesome, when you went to the right places, but the right places tended to be quite expensive, and thus I had to make do with whatever the school cafeteria had to offer, which was cheap and mainly consisted of rice and some sort of meat. Nothing that great. Also for breakfast I bought cheap toast, and toasted it in the oven, and ate it with jam. My stomach was killing me, begging for fibers, but japan is not renowned for fiber rich bread. It was really hard to find anything with fibers apart from Kellogg's Branflakes, and I was not a fan of those.

Mind you, when I arrived in Japan, early September 2010, I was already weighing a tad too much. I was about 64 kilos if I remember correctly. I was sure that I would loose weight automatically, just by having to move more, by foot or by bicycle, than I had usually done back in Denmark, but with the kind of food I ate every day, and the too delicious cakes they had in the nearby mall, I just gained weight excessively.
I didn't notice at first, how much I had actually gained, until I came back to Denmark on vacation, and noticed a pair of jeans, that I had bought early 2010, had become too small for me. I couldn't even fit my ass into them. It was a very devastating moment.
At this moment, I had a complete breakdown, and I cried for hours, cursing my body and cursing myself far off into hell.

After I had my breakdown, I decided that I had to do SOMETHING. I had to stop myself from gaining any more. I decided that it was time for a DIET!!!
At first I just tried eating less candy and stopped drinking soda all together. I tried to stay away from cakes and I tried to cut down on my carbohydrates, which meant no more rice.
And then I found a danish site for dieting. called, basically a place that helps you count calories. I signed up for the trial, and within a week, I had lost almost 1 kilo, so I decided to continue.
I had such a hard time letting go of all the carbohydrates in my normal eating habit. I didn't know what to eat instead!
I was used to eating bread, pasta, noodles, potatoes, rice, biscuits, etc. and I had no idea what to replace it all with. At first I just tried to eat my share of meat with a lot of vegetables on the side.
I also ate Edamame (Soy beans), which I have to say are absolutely delicious and extremely healthy!

With the help of "iformkostdagbog" i quickly discovered that I wasn't getting enough fibres, and too many carbohydrates, also I never seemed to get enough fat, though that didn't really concern me too much, until I learned that the body needed fat, in order to shed fat. Luckily it is easy to get the healthy fat, I just had to add some nuts, especially almonds, to my breakfast or as an in between meal snack and I was on the right track.
As for carbohydrates, I really had to be on the lookout, I tried cutting it completely out of my diet, which proved a bit disastrous, for my health at least. I started experiencing, carbohydrate abstinence.
It was AWFUL, I had a headache for weeks, my body felt as if it was coming down with a fever and I was just shaking and feeling down right awful. The detox lasted for about 14 days, and then I started feeling better, and my craving for sugar had lessened quite a lot. I noticed that I didn't feel like eating just about any kind of candy that I feasted my eyes upon anymore, there where of course still some cakes and certain types of chocolate, that I just couldn't stay away from, but I didn't feel like I had to be stuffing myself with candy all the time anymore. It felt great!

After 1 month, I had gone down to 67 kilos and I was feeling a lot better about myself, I also started going to the fitness center once or twice a week, and took a round on the fitness bike and the step machine.
I also tried to do swimming at least once a week, until I got a foot wart from coming there, and decided that it was too unhygienic a place and stopped going.
But I kept on doing exercises and keeping control of my calorie intake, and at the end of May I was down to 65,4 kilos. I was ecstatic about it, but also a bit weary sometimes. As much as I'd love to say that I never craved candy or cakes, that would be a lie. The cravings weren't extreme, but I just couldn't stop myself from ending up with a big ice cream cone or a delicious cake, when I came across those in the summer heat of Japan. Even so, at the end of June I had reached 63,6 kilos.
Sometimes I had been eating a bit too much cake or ice cream, and thus gained a bit again, at those times I either tended to break down and cry and just really loathe myself, or I would tell myself that it had been worth the calories and that I had to stop thinking about this as a diet, but more as a complete lifestyle makeover.

I knew I had to find a balance, so that I would be able to continue living this good new healthy lifestyle and still be able to enjoy the sweet wonders in life.
But it was never easy, it was always HARD work, and if I strayed just a bit from my path of healthy, I knew I had to fight even more, to get back on track.
The road to success, is best described as one never ending detour, it takes forever, but eventually, you'll get there.

At the end of July, I reached 61,2 kilos. I had a long fight with myself in July, because I went on vacation around Japan. And there I just had to eat whatever available to me and my budget. The food was great at times and other times I had to make do with some soft white bread, and I did gain a bit, but coming back from the vacation, I started counting calories again and eventually got back on track.

In August however, I stopped counting calories every day, and my weight sort of stagnated for a while. I was busy with a lot of things, but I mostly stayed close to the calorie budget I had set for myself. Though it being vacation at all, really made me go easy on myself. Another factor that made me go easy, was the fact that I knew I would be leaving Japan soon for good, and because of that, I just wanted to enjoy every last bit of the Japanese food and cakes that I loved so much.
Of course, I gained weight, And at the end of September, I had gained and was back at around 63 kilos.

On September 31st 2011, I returned to Denmark, leaving my life in Japan behind, but not the NEW and IMPROVED me, I was as determined as EVER to continue my new and healthy and somewhat slimmer lifestyle.
Returning to cold little Denmark, my family and my boyfriend, and all my friends here, was great...but at the same time, I really missed my new friends in Japan, and I missed some certain types of food, that I couldn't get here in Denmark, especially Macha Creme Frappuccino from the coffee shop chain Starbucks. Not a day passes by when I am not craving this sweet wonder of a drink.
It was back to reality, and back to work, back to my old every day life. Back to having a car, no bicycle, and a job, where I basically just sit on a chair all day, and watch people. I work as a custodian at an art museum, which is a great job I admit, you never have to work much and you get paid for just sitting there, how great is that? Only problem is, I stopped moving as much as I had done in Japan. In Japan I had no car, I had to walk everywhere or take the bicycle, and thus getting more calories burned in a day.
I soon realized that I was starting to gain a bit again, and I started the calorie counting over, and signed up for the local gym. At first I took some DanceFit lessons, because my younger sister was the teacher, but it wasn't long before I tried "Spinning". And I had an epiphany. After my first spinning lesson, I felt like I was near death, I felt that I couldn't move again, but after 20-30 minutes I felt AMAZING! It felt GREAT! Sure my body ached all over, but I had never felt this great before.

I started spinning once a week at first. Then came Christmas time.. December, oh sweet was time for Christmas cookies and Christmas cakes and since I hadn't been home at Christmas last year, I decided to go all out and just enjoy myself and AGAIN I gained weight.
In January, I started up on my calorie counting again, and I have finally reached 60,3 kilos this morning.
I am still not done yet...
When does it end you ask? I say NEVER...or actually, the weight-loss should preferably end around 58 kilos and hopefully I will be able to sustain that weight.
At the moment I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. Tuesdays and Thursdays I do spinning, Wednesday I do tighten up fitness that focuses on the belly, buns and thighs. And I just started doing Thai-bo on Fridays.
My body is much more firm now, and I feel better about myself. I can still see flaws here and there, like the size of my thighs and ass, or the bit of fat still concentrated on my belly.
I still get my small breakdowns, when things don't go the right way. When I have been a bit extravagant and gone out for dinner a couple of times a week, instead of eating at home, and I start gaining, instead of loosing weight, but I keep on fighting.

Will I reach my goal I wonder?
To be continued...

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